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Funny Quotes That Will Make You Smile

by Maria Gracia Join our newsletter to be notified when the newest Quotes and Words of Wisdom is available. If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. (Andy Rooney) My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. (Mitch Hedberg) Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. (Oscar Wilde) Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. (Unknown) I can resist everything except temptation. (Oscar Wilde) A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. (Steve Martin) Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime. (Red Skeleton) I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. (Joan Rivers) Electricity is really just organized lightning. (George Carlin) If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer. (Rob Corddry) Back to Quotes and Words of Wisdom Index

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