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Quotes and Words of Wisdom
Funny Quotes That Will Make You Smile
by Maria Gracia
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If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. (Andy Rooney)
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. (Mitch
Hedberg)
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. (Oscar
Wilde)
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and
cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the
same thing to them at funerals. (Unknown)
I can resist everything except temptation. (Oscar Wilde)
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. (Steve Martin)
Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime. (Red Skeleton)
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months
later you have to start all over again. (Joan Rivers)
Electricity is really just organized lightning. (George Carlin)
If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer. (Rob Corddry)
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